Sunday, December 25, 2005
Santa is Pretty Cool
Dear Pal,
Did Santa visit you last night? If so, what did you get?
Sincerely, Please don't be offended if you are Jewish or any other non-Christian denomination because I don't want you to cut me
Dear Don't Worry about It Because I Like Santa,
Santa did come last night. I got some KICKASS presents. Unfortunately, most of them came in boxes that Mommy had to open. She's slow and stupid, so it took some time to assemble my spectacular new tissue paper and box village, but when all of the pieces were put together - it is MAGNIFICENT. There are so many places for me to hang out and Mommy can't even fit her big head into them. It's great. I can hide all of my bottle caps now and she won't know where they are.
I received the best gift of all courtesy of my friend the internet. Check this out. Could my girlfriend be any more beautiful? [If you respond with anything that remotely asserts that you have seen a more beautiful cat - unless you mean me - I will cut your tongue out and slap you with it, then bury it in my tissue paper/box village and it will NEVER be found.] Do you see how Athena is staring into the distance? That's because she is daydreaming about the amazing tuna dinner that we will have when I finally move to the desert.
In conclusion, Merry Christmas. I have to go back to the village and wait for Mommy to walk by so that I can make her bleed red onto my green tissue paper. Just trying to keep things festive....
Best, Pal
Did Santa visit you last night? If so, what did you get?
Sincerely, Please don't be offended if you are Jewish or any other non-Christian denomination because I don't want you to cut me
Dear Don't Worry about It Because I Like Santa,
Santa did come last night. I got some KICKASS presents. Unfortunately, most of them came in boxes that Mommy had to open. She's slow and stupid, so it took some time to assemble my spectacular new tissue paper and box village, but when all of the pieces were put together - it is MAGNIFICENT. There are so many places for me to hang out and Mommy can't even fit her big head into them. It's great. I can hide all of my bottle caps now and she won't know where they are.
I received the best gift of all courtesy of my friend the internet. Check this out. Could my girlfriend be any more beautiful? [If you respond with anything that remotely asserts that you have seen a more beautiful cat - unless you mean me - I will cut your tongue out and slap you with it, then bury it in my tissue paper/box village and it will NEVER be found.] Do you see how Athena is staring into the distance? That's because she is daydreaming about the amazing tuna dinner that we will have when I finally move to the desert.
In conclusion, Merry Christmas. I have to go back to the village and wait for Mommy to walk by so that I can make her bleed red onto my green tissue paper. Just trying to keep things festive....
Best, Pal
